One Year 5-31-23

 One year

One year ago my world was different,

I saw sorrow, aloneness, and sadness.

I saw a world without joy wearing a mask of  smiles.  

I saw my worth as a people pleaser.

I saw myself as fat, ugly, and unworthy.

I saw what the world saw a piece of trash thrown out by everyone else.

I put on a mask of joy laughter and smiles.

I wore the mask a a best friend when needed.

I wore other’s expectations and never  achieved my real goals.

I took a chance on dating.

I had been hurt so much that I expected sorrow, lies, and users.

I expected to be nothing to them.  

I knew they would throw me away.

I met a man who didn’t fit my normal.   He stepped out of his world to see me at a country park.  

He made me feel special.  

He made me feel heard.  He made me want to be better.  

He got rid of the mask.  

He found the woman hiding inside.  He tells her to slow down, offers help, and understands my struggles.

6 months later…he still loves me.  He still wants to hold me like the first day.   He lives for our bubble time.  He doesn’t get his running shoes on.

The world changes for me and he holds on, I don’t deserve him.  He puts up with my stubbornness and crazy life.  Where did he come from. 

One year later, we still have not fought.  We live for our times together.  We celebrate each other, support each other, and love each other.  

I used to say, never would I find someone like him.   I now say,  I will celebrate each day with him